As this semester has started.. and i am about 2 weeks in, i have been everywhere in my studies, but I'm defiantly a little more focused for school, a little more able to concentrate in on reading and studying. But recently i have had a conversation with two great friends of mine, the convo was a along one reaching the early am, But we were discussing healing's, and in away spiritual gifts, and right now this is where i am struggling:
So pretty much I am struggling mainly in the area of "healing". I am sick of the television evangelism stuff, mainly because there is really no verification in the fact that if they were actually healings. I also I'm also tired in hearing of all these healing in missions or there was this guy who healed someone. I am tired of hearing story's that are so far off or don't seem to be real because there is no verification that it did actually happen. It also bugs me of how many sick people there are or how many people have illness and don't know what it is, or cancer, diabetes, i don't see these people getting healed, but dont' get me wrong i understand that we do need to go through trials, and that one day they will be healed in heaven, but it would be nice to see some really sick people healed.
This is even more annoying as i take a class about the history of the Pentecostal Church, and the teacher keeps referring to the "great" power of Holy Spirit, and this happen in the old days and this happened, and as i sit there listing to his thoughts, i think that all of these miracles happened 50 years before i was born. Where is it now?
I'am not very skeptical when it comes to God, but i do have my doubts, we all do. But i find myself struggling with the doubt that i haven't seen major healing or the Holy Spirit come down doing amazing things, But i have seen alot of small cases with afew people speaking in tongues. But i haven't even seen this in awhile. I try to be very open minded with God but i struggle when i don't see anyone doing any amazing things in the Glory of God. Why aren't we seeing people healed, why in our service time at church we aren't we seeing the move of the Holy Spirit, maybe its just me and i am missing something but worship service's seem dead and the messages are hit and miss. I do admit that my devo's are hit and miss also, but ive really tried this semester to give it my all, especially with in my papers i write, in away this has been my devotion as i sit and ponder of God's majesty. Example: The tabernacle wilderness is frickin amazing by the way.. haha.
So there we have it i am frustrated, I know that God is there and he is inside of me, but i don't understand his power? Is there any thoughts out there?
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3 comments:
First...It happened to my mom a couple years ago. Maybe a few. When I was really young, like, 3 or something, we went to see the fireworks. And we were missing the bus, and my mom turned around to see where dad was, and her back got screwed. Like, badly. But doctors didn't know what happened. They said everything should be fine. But it wasn't. So my mom had back pain with varying degrees of severity for many years. 7 actually. Then she had a dream of a balloon going away, and it was gone. Shes been well for a number of years now.
That isn't the healing you were talking about I guess. But could that really even happen anymore? This age we strive for knowledge. We know how everything works. God doesn't want straight out proof out there for the world. There is no faith in that. So his power is displayed more quietly. Perhaps. I wouldn't know for sure.
I read something about churches the other day. It was in Romans, and more a reference to one. something like 'send greetings to the church that meets at asphirus's house'. They were like our spy cells. I know that not a new thought, but I still find it cool.
I have to say that I've experienced God using me to heal people. Even within the first month of my faith. I was on my way home from Alpha, in the passenger's seat, and my friend's mom was driving us. She had hurt her neck really bad, and she could turn it properly (making it hard to drive safely). God told me to touch her neck after the next set of lights, and wehn I did, she was instantly healed, and she could move her neck freely. It's still out there, and I've even healed my mom when her back was bad. She said "I felt like the energy in my back was moving around."
I will also say, keep giving it your all. It is important that we become confident in our spiritual gifts, but we can only do that if we allow God to work through our lives...and if we yeild to his call and to the Holy Spirit.
I was thinking...we hear a lot more healing stories coming from places like 3rd world countries. Maybe it's because they have less materially there than we do...we have more than we need...so the people there have to depend on God more or are more desperate for Him because they have nothing or much less than we do. But here in wealthier countries, we depend on ourselves and our money to get us by...so there is less than an absolute dependence on God. Maybe that has something to do with it.
And also...I was thinking (again, lol) on Thursday about authority we have in Jesus' name and the power that the Holy Spirit gives us. And I thought too like, why is it that the disciples could walk up to someone and say "In the name of Jesus be healed"? And I realized that it's not that we use the power of the Holy Spirit or that it's our decision...it's a leading of the Holy Spirit...like...the power of the Holy Spirit is not just something I can arbitrarily use, it's not a magic wand or something...it's when I decrease Self and let Holy Spirit lead me that those things happen, I think. Of course we are to be obedient to Scripture and pray for healing, like Corrie did at the beginning of the services this weekend. But I think it is God who leads us....those disciples that healed the paralyzed guy (or God healed through them) that was at the gate of the temple...they had walked by him so many times, probably even Jesus did...yet it was one specific time that God chose to heal him through Peter and John.
Anyways I don't know why God doesn't heal all the time other than it's His perogative...I think sometimes if the problem would be solved all at once then we wouldn't learn anything from it. but I don't know.
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