As i have continued to ponder during the last few weeks even months since my child is born, I have realized that i have preconcieved lists in my brain that I do things by. For example; When my little girl is crying and Michelle isn't home i try certian things to comfort her, after 5 or 6 times i noticed i did things in order as well. Check the diaper, food, gas, cramps, bounce, then the bounce with a tap on the bum, and then if all else fails gripe water. This list is not written down or is set in place, it just kinda happened.
As i pondered my relationship with God I starred into an labrynth of the 'lists' of how i deal with life and God. This isn't a bad thing but it can be, let me explain. If my relationship with God is kinda getting rough and rely on the invisible list to help me and revive my heart. Before i go on writing and bumbling here I need to stop and ask you, does any one else try to fix there relationship with God with things that have worked for them before?
This may be might best explanation of what is in my brain and trying to convey. The bad part of this is if we jump to a conclusion that we must pray more and that will fix the problem, we might have jumped. If my daughter and I are having a rought time through the evening while michelle is gone and I precieve that she is hungry and really she is teething and needs some grip water or something of that nature. We are putting are human nature, or human desire to fix the situation in the way of God and you working through the situation together.
I think that as we release some of these ideas that we have built up in the way we can really focus on seeing what God is really showing to us.
Does this make any sense or is this baby babble?
The Return
Ahem! The blogging has began!
For those of you that don't know I have had tons of changes in my life in the last 2 years, marriage, baby, graduated, moved, hired, two jobs-Pastor at Genesis christian centre in Nanaimo, and a Construction company.
With this much craziness prayer has been a difficult in my life! yes a person who is persueing in a sense a carreer of pastoring has troubles to pray with in a terrible schedule. We has humans are full of excuses, as much as I can justify not having time to pray, it is still after all our communication with God!
As it is a necessity in ones life, it needs its own place in our day. The best possible solution is following Christs example.
For those of you that don't know I have had tons of changes in my life in the last 2 years, marriage, baby, graduated, moved, hired, two jobs-Pastor at Genesis christian centre in Nanaimo, and a Construction company.
With this much craziness prayer has been a difficult in my life! yes a person who is persueing in a sense a carreer of pastoring has troubles to pray with in a terrible schedule. We has humans are full of excuses, as much as I can justify not having time to pray, it is still after all our communication with God!
As it is a necessity in ones life, it needs its own place in our day. The best possible solution is following Christs example.
Luke 5:16 But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed
Luke 4:42 At daybreak Jesus went out to a solitary place. The people were looking for him and when they came to where he was, they tried to keep him from leaving them.
There are afew other verses about this topic, but what i want to share with you today is highlighted in both of these verses, Jesus withdrew to a solitary place, and secondly he withdrew before starting to preaching the good news at the next city.
We need to find time to withdraw to a time one on one with God. Withdrawing may not to be as severe as withdrawing like a monk into a cell, but more like that spot in your house, or the walk by the beach, the hike up the mountain, or the chair on the back porch. Bad places to withdraw to may be the bedroom where sleep comes to easy, or the computer or tv where distractions are compelling.
My heart in this message is that we withdraw and pray.
waiting part-3
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Adventure that it has been, its been hard though, i blame it on my studies, my first week of death is almost over and soon i will be starting my second week of death as i go into another week of projects due. Death. My sleeping habits have reverted back to high school years when i slept in the day mostly and was up all night and slept in shifts when and where i could mostly english class. This has finally reverted back again, as i am up all night doing homework, reading, watching cartoons, eating cookies, and pondering life, truth and hope. and i sleep between classes the next day. oh darn.
Its been good though, in my doctrine class which i am doing rather well in if i say so myself, we rabbit trailed to worshiping God, and threw all our answers and we came quickly to the decision that we worship God because he is truly God. Because God is who he is. Recently i have kept a running conversation in my mind about entertainment and the church, and how we are combining the two without even realizing it. At the moment i can't worship to a band on Sunday mourning, its no longer enabling my thoughts to give thanks to God for who he is! The entertainment factor of band worship, is a big blob distorting peoples lifestyles of worship.
I don't want to rant, about it but i think its worth a thought to look at the way you personally worship God! and the reasons why you worship the way you do!
Any thoughts?
Dag. THats some good Stationary!
All i have to say, is this is some pinpricking good stationary, probably one of the best ball point pens ever constructed
Went for a walk, and was thinking when the batteries ran out on the camera.
This one is actually from the car window, kinda of a quick shot that worked out. 
It wasn't intentional to take my camera, just was wanting to walk and think. Except it turned into a nice day, the sun peaked out of the clouds, it was a nice distraction from my homework.
Enjoy, take care!
It wasn't intentional to take my camera, just was wanting to walk and think. Except it turned into a nice day, the sun peaked out of the clouds, it was a nice distraction from my homework.
Enjoy, take care!
Waiting-Part 2
Intensity still reigns,
Passion for more is still,
I weep for a friend, name is unsaid
debt, and uncertainty brought the change
the music now fades
towns are still close, your on the way out of town
I wish i could have told you more,
there was so much life to offer
He loves you deeply! Please see Please hear our plea
my words, images don't do him a piece of justice
I am sorry for that my friend
May his wonderful life meet you,
My friends, I like this as a greeting,
instead of hello, it has become so meaningless
Recently i was at the conference of the ministry in Abbotsford,
Enjoying the time spent with some nice folks, from the island (the list is long)
thanks for the fellowship it was most excellent
The speaker left me with affirmation that waiting is ok
only if you wait in; fasting and prayer
in that order so your hungry for change, and your showing discipline
and if you fast in selfishness, it leaves you empty and hungry
For the longest time i never been introed to the ministry conference
why did no one tell me about it, or was i being closed eared
It was amazing to see such amazing pastors and wives or husbands, missionaries, church elders, and teachers.
It was good to see such passion, tiredness, love
I feel scared that i will be going into a ministry role, i see the joy, and the underlying weight ofitall
The track that i attended was excellent
I have decided that even when you have taken half a course on something it shouldn't make you feel like you know the contact, this track pointed out new facts, and truths that clearly were clouded from early mournings, (early mournings and i don't mix- it hasn't improve-i hope it would, its to tiring to constantly be up early)
Tomrows's tracks should be good, as well, iam stoaked,
Theres alot to be stoaked about, I have alot to be thankful for.
Its late, theres alot here to comment on.. !
TakeCare Godbless!
Waiting-Part 1
I have discovered, or more or less i feel told, that i was 'selfish', mainly spiritualy, It was one of those Iam worshiping God, and living this adventure for almost self benefit, when in reality, i should be worshiping God because he is Holy. In one sense, i have no fear of the Lord. So i am sitting in a dessert, Iam sitting waiting, my mouth parched with thirst, It sucks, Frick, I hate sin, and its Curse. I just did a procject on Heaven and Hell, or known as the final state, and i can't wait for heaven, the imagery in the bible represents a place glorifing the master builder, and i can't wait.
So i wait, in solitude i pursue God, its hard to start something that lacks. Discipline, is like building calluses on the hands, its painful, it hurts, and you will remember how you got them.
For the next little while, this blog will be for my walk back up the mountain, to be back in the presence of God.
Please if any of this, or any future corner stones, and thoughts hit accord with where you are at, please let me know, its always good hiking up a moutian when you know someone is hiking it with you!
TakeCare, Godbless
So i wait, in solitude i pursue God, its hard to start something that lacks. Discipline, is like building calluses on the hands, its painful, it hurts, and you will remember how you got them.
For the next little while, this blog will be for my walk back up the mountain, to be back in the presence of God.
Please if any of this, or any future corner stones, and thoughts hit accord with where you are at, please let me know, its always good hiking up a moutian when you know someone is hiking it with you!
TakeCare, Godbless
KNOWING
For my few readers, i ask the question, How do Personally know God is there, knowing your relationship with him is Genuine?
There is a article that my roomie came across in i think it was physcology today, or something close to it, and it Talked about a pastor in a luthern church in the states somewhere. IT said that this pastor one day thought and decided he wasn't a Christian anymore. But he still was a preacher in this church.. but the end part doesn't matter, compared too, Him just deciding he didnt believe anymore.
I don't get it, at the moment i am struggling in feeling the prescence of God, which hits me in hearing his voice, knowing him, etc. So there you go, Christians Struggle, I struggle, and at the moment its probaby one of the hardest struggles of my life.
Please leave a comment of your thoughts, story, struggles, I would love to read and chatt with you upon your comments
Take Care, God Bless
There is a article that my roomie came across in i think it was physcology today, or something close to it, and it Talked about a pastor in a luthern church in the states somewhere. IT said that this pastor one day thought and decided he wasn't a Christian anymore. But he still was a preacher in this church.. but the end part doesn't matter, compared too, Him just deciding he didnt believe anymore.
I don't get it, at the moment i am struggling in feeling the prescence of God, which hits me in hearing his voice, knowing him, etc. So there you go, Christians Struggle, I struggle, and at the moment its probaby one of the hardest struggles of my life.
Please leave a comment of your thoughts, story, struggles, I would love to read and chatt with you upon your comments
Take Care, God Bless
Materials
For the people who still check the chubber blog still, heres some thoughts. One year later roughly, i feel i haven't grown at all in my push to live by faith. I look back and see attempts, but i also see myself still being materialistic. So for the first post in a couple months iam going to keep it short, but iam thinking and pondering of ways to get past being so materialistic, For the people who still read this, i throw the question at you, if you are, how do you get past being materialistic? how do you be content with what you have?
Reminder
So this past weekend, was the weekend of hosting family, telling the parents the good news, and such. Life is decently busy, and all at the same time it is good, God is great. As my parents and uncle were here in the abby, we went second hand store shopping, woot, my family put my list of books in over drive as they got me the mark of a christian and born again. I recently started the mark of the christian by Francis a. Shcaffer, in the first paragraph i was hit, by the reality as christians we try to spread our mark by the images, like the cross, the church, symbols that set us apart, even hair cuts.
But in reality what better to set us apart that the love of Christ!
"its only a thought"
But in reality what better to set us apart that the love of Christ!
"its only a thought"
Recently found this song quite interesting, what do you think?
"Silhouette"Thrice
Your eyes, followed me here.
Your eyes, seamless and sure.
They leave me broken and, in need of a cure.
Your eyes, followed me here.
Your eyes, sifting my soul.
They leave me broken and forge diamonds from the coal.
They race me along
the infinite synapse of white lines.
and then while chasing the dawn
with storybook syntax
Your eyes slit the throat, of all I know.
About myself in this life.
This silhouette lie.
And your eyes, speaking in tongues.
Vigilant still, filling my lungs.
Testing my will.
They leave me broken and, bruised and bleeding.
Your eyes, resting in flame,
Leave me breathless again
Like hydrogen
Split on faultlines
or ten years living with
exposure to radon
Your eyes slit the throat, of all I know.
About myself in this life.
This silhouette lie.
Your eyes, Your eyes.
Speaking in tongues.
Vigilant still, lead our way.
Filling my lungs.
Testing my will.
You slit the throat, of all I know.
About myself in this life.
This silhouette lie.
You slit my throat.
Because I know,
That this life, is a lie.
So slit my throat.
Your eyes, followed me here.
Your eyes, seamless and sure.
They leave me broken and, in need of a cure.
Your eyes, followed me here.
Your eyes, sifting my soul.
They leave me broken and forge diamonds from the coal.
They race me along
the infinite synapse of white lines.
and then while chasing the dawn
with storybook syntax
Your eyes slit the throat, of all I know.
About myself in this life.
This silhouette lie.
And your eyes, speaking in tongues.
Vigilant still, filling my lungs.
Testing my will.
They leave me broken and, bruised and bleeding.
Your eyes, resting in flame,
Leave me breathless again
Like hydrogen
Split on faultlines
or ten years living with
exposure to radon
Your eyes slit the throat, of all I know.
About myself in this life.
This silhouette lie.
Your eyes, Your eyes.
Speaking in tongues.
Vigilant still, lead our way.
Filling my lungs.
Testing my will.
You slit the throat, of all I know.
About myself in this life.
This silhouette lie.
You slit my throat.
Because I know,
That this life, is a lie.
So slit my throat.
WoooW post 50
So heres jsut a quick one, nothing deep an ispirational, nothing that has been stuck in my mind for a couple of days. Its jsut a random event, which i haven't done in forever, and in two days, i have done it twice. Its when you get home from something, and for a couple hours, yes a couple hours i lay in my bed, so comfy and listin to music, barely awake, and just listin, i haven't done it since the days of construction, i think its a nice way to relax, unfortenatly it does nothing for productivity, it also effects the sleeping pattern like nothing else. but on the topic of work, its been good, i work at van belle nursery, the people there are great, a range from mexican to africa, with a few canadians. in afew months i will know my shrubs. and maybel afew flowers to boot. man this week has been packed, this week i took a minor break from coffee, the temptation has been great, but i have pulled through..
DISTRACTIONS
Iam starting realize i am in habit of being distracted easy, i one of those people who see something shinny and have to see what is shinny, if i was a fish, i would be caught already. Today i started writing, and seriously this is about the 20th time i was distracted. Maybe its because i stoped drringking coffee for awhile, i definatly went on binge of drinking coffee this weekend as i traveled home. But on the brightside of things i studied i huge crapload on friday, and continued on saturday except after that i took a two day break, leaveing me here on teusday continuesly being distracted.
I think the worse things are about distractions, is that sometimes they are impossible to avoid, random people needing things on the phone, oh look my turn is up on conquer club, yea thats right iam a complete nerd, with comics and everything, and to top the day off itunes needed to upgrade and was being silly about it.
To continue this day of distractions is the sweet smell of burgers on the barbecue, man somedays having a room outside the cafeteria sucks.
anyways.. i should pull myself off this distraction.
I think the worse things are about distractions, is that sometimes they are impossible to avoid, random people needing things on the phone, oh look my turn is up on conquer club, yea thats right iam a complete nerd, with comics and everything, and to top the day off itunes needed to upgrade and was being silly about it.
To continue this day of distractions is the sweet smell of burgers on the barbecue, man somedays having a room outside the cafeteria sucks.
anyways.. i should pull myself off this distraction.
Looking for feedback?
Hey, Recently i have read mark 16:15-18,"He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. 16Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. 17And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; 18they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."",
Iam quite curious of this verse, mainly because of a couple things it points out, in verse 16 it states believes and is baptized will be saved, first question, it might seem simple but really, how do we really believe,?
Iam not trying to question God, but iam questioning myself of how much i truely believe in him, this verse hits me as i think about the signs that Jesus says will follow, to be honest, i don't see alot of these things happening around us, as christians, and it bugs me,
hmmm makes me wonder,, any thoughts?
Iam quite curious of this verse, mainly because of a couple things it points out, in verse 16 it states believes and is baptized will be saved, first question, it might seem simple but really, how do we really believe,?
Iam not trying to question God, but iam questioning myself of how much i truely believe in him, this verse hits me as i think about the signs that Jesus says will follow, to be honest, i don't see alot of these things happening around us, as christians, and it bugs me,
hmmm makes me wonder,, any thoughts?
cash
"legends, and lies, fools and drunks old friends and angels they all belong in this book. My worry is that i'll leave someon out that should be in an awful lot of people have been important in my life." Johhny Cash 'the autobiography'
man i love this quote, i love the way cash writes, and some of his stories amaze me, but the fact that hes trying to acknowledge everyone is crazy, even the people who treated him poorly or helped him, makes me think of some of the people in my own life who have effected me good or bad, makes me include everyone.
man i love this quote, i love the way cash writes, and some of his stories amaze me, but the fact that hes trying to acknowledge everyone is crazy, even the people who treated him poorly or helped him, makes me think of some of the people in my own life who have effected me good or bad, makes me include everyone.
A new book, recently i have started on reading of biography's. To start this expediton, i have started reading of the man in black, Cash, its his main title books like the man in black or the man in white, its just a autobiography. Its quite an interesting read already even being a few chapters in, this book is quite similar to the film walk the line, unfortounealty i think there was too much portrayed on his drugs in the movie, but overall it was a good film. I have also began to really enjoy this mans music, its really raw and real,
anywhoo that would be all
laterdays
anywhoo that would be all
laterdays
So i am in love with my new record player, i bought it mainly in thought that i could get music by the number at reasonable price, but the other day i was at garage sale, and oh man did i get a deal, for a couple of bucks i got a whole box full of records, and for the last few days, when i am home iam stuck in my room. .. iam a nerd i swear, just a closet one anyways. all i do is watch toons, and listin to records... haha
blogging again
Soorry for the long absence, i have been writing alot of blogs, but none that really are all that good, mostly just talking about my summer and how cool its been, look there i go again. But recently i have been watching alot of the show 'The Hour' great talk show, there seems to be to no major objective, just interviewing really cool people, quite recently he interviewed a man by the name of Tony campoplo, very fascinating man, But this interview, you can get online at the hours website, but Tony's message of Christs love was amazing, and reallly inspiring.
And today i checked another interview out, an interview based on ex-gay movement, reall horrible stuff to hear, but very interesting, and maybe i can track down the vid they were talking about.. but once again the lady in the interview shared a message on Christs love, onece again inspiring
Once again i realize that Christs love is everywhere, unfortunately Christs love is tainted by humans stupidity between each other. It almost makes me want to apologies for being a Christian, not that being a Christian is bad, but just in the fact that how much retardedness comes along with it, The only fear i have about telling people that iam a Christian is that i hit an a open wound, a wound that is from Christianity. For the longest time i had a friend in construction he was about 45-50ish years in age and was first nations, and every time we had any sort of discussion about Christianity he brought up he first nation reform schools, where when you go to one of the old schools and all the graves behind the school are not deaths of tuberculosis like they say they are but they are actual deaths of beatings. I wish there was an easy way of saying i was Christian without having this stuff come up or at least come up in my mind in conversations..
so apologies for the things that christianity has done, i don't know all of the history, but i do know some, and that some is just enough to say i am sorry..
And today i checked another interview out, an interview based on ex-gay movement, reall horrible stuff to hear, but very interesting, and maybe i can track down the vid they were talking about.. but once again the lady in the interview shared a message on Christs love, onece again inspiring
Once again i realize that Christs love is everywhere, unfortunately Christs love is tainted by humans stupidity between each other. It almost makes me want to apologies for being a Christian, not that being a Christian is bad, but just in the fact that how much retardedness comes along with it, The only fear i have about telling people that iam a Christian is that i hit an a open wound, a wound that is from Christianity. For the longest time i had a friend in construction he was about 45-50ish years in age and was first nations, and every time we had any sort of discussion about Christianity he brought up he first nation reform schools, where when you go to one of the old schools and all the graves behind the school are not deaths of tuberculosis like they say they are but they are actual deaths of beatings. I wish there was an easy way of saying i was Christian without having this stuff come up or at least come up in my mind in conversations..
so apologies for the things that christianity has done, i don't know all of the history, but i do know some, and that some is just enough to say i am sorry..
Loookin back to the last few moths,
So, today i have been doing a little reminiscing of the last few monts slash the school year. On the annoying and mostly negative side the food here SUCKS. it really does. On the less negative side, moving towards positive, is that only one or two classes sucked. I am actually really surpirsed that i haven't failed any papers, except i have failed alot of tests. So on the in between stage of good and bad, is the classes, as there have been the classes which have been amazingly challenging, but the mournings kinda do me in, and i get really grumpy, yea the sleeping rage came back a little bit.
This semester alone, i have done tons of traveling, willams lake, the island, surrey for a youth specialties conference which was amazing, i took more notes in that day then in some classes. I have been to the wonderful island, which is always loaded with good times, oh yea go yassar runs.
I also got eh visit from my sister from saskatchawan, who was kind enough to hang out with me the most, it was pretty loaded with good times as well, OH, i also got a visit from my little sis from the island, we went for tim hortons, and i guessed her color and style of her grad dress, woot. That same weekend, great friends of mine, werner, josh, and james. josh and werner stayed in my room, man what eh party.. i got barely any sleep that weekend due to all the fun and games.. and me and cronk still have a flippin pepper on our desk. yeaup!
Oh.. i read tons of books it comes at a price, as i tired out my eye alittle bit.. and my eyesight in one eye gets alittle fuzzed reading stuff.. err, but i read tons of books and looking back they had a huge theme of faith. And i am looking forward to my next year as it is going to become my prep for living off of faith. i don't know what it looks like exactly, but iam sure God does..
so thats abit of my year.. in a glimse..
This semester alone, i have done tons of traveling, willams lake, the island, surrey for a youth specialties conference which was amazing, i took more notes in that day then in some classes. I have been to the wonderful island, which is always loaded with good times, oh yea go yassar runs.
I also got eh visit from my sister from saskatchawan, who was kind enough to hang out with me the most, it was pretty loaded with good times as well, OH, i also got a visit from my little sis from the island, we went for tim hortons, and i guessed her color and style of her grad dress, woot. That same weekend, great friends of mine, werner, josh, and james. josh and werner stayed in my room, man what eh party.. i got barely any sleep that weekend due to all the fun and games.. and me and cronk still have a flippin pepper on our desk. yeaup!
Oh.. i read tons of books it comes at a price, as i tired out my eye alittle bit.. and my eyesight in one eye gets alittle fuzzed reading stuff.. err, but i read tons of books and looking back they had a huge theme of faith. And i am looking forward to my next year as it is going to become my prep for living off of faith. i don't know what it looks like exactly, but iam sure God does..
so thats abit of my year.. in a glimse..
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